Alice in Hogwarts
by Watching Happiness Burn
Summary: Alice is a witch, but since she's been in Underland the ministry couldn't find her. She and Tarrant go topside to visit her mother and she is grabbed and taken to Hogwarts. Kinda OOC and sorta AU depending on how you look at it.


**Okay yes, I'm back from hiatus with a whole new edited beginning. I know I've done this before, but this time it's worth it. Sorry this took me so long but RL got in the way.**

**_Chess appears in midair and says_: "Watching Happiness Burn does not own Harry Potter or Alice in Wonderland and does not profit from this story. It is a work of fiction and no copyright infringement is intended." _Chess disappears  
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><p>Chapter One<p>

The night of September the first aired itself as stormy and turbulent. The ceiling of the Great Hall was alternately clouded with ominous cloud banks and violent flashes of lightening, wind unfelt by the Hall's occupants gusted and caused the flames of the floating candles to flicker and gutter high above their heads.

The four banquet tables were filled to bursting with students of previous years of Hogwarts, the talk centered on the content of the Sorting Hats song, the opening speeches, and the desert dishes. The prefects sat together by year trying to anticipate the amount of first years to be added and the necessary actions to take care of them.

The grand doors opened to reveal Professor McGonagall and this year's new students, a group of roughly forty eleven year olds. They trailed single file down the gap between the Ravenclaw table and her neighbor the Hufflepuffs. Their destination sat visible to all, a battered pointed hat sitting prominently atop a three legged stool, in full view of not only the students of the four houses but the professors at their high table, a motley crew spanning from the dour Professor Snape all the way to what had to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, a short woman who rather resembled a toad and was wearing a rather ghastly shade of pink.

The students arrived and arranged themselves in a natural semi-circle and nearly all of them looked absolutely petrified of what was to come next. The rest of the people in the Great Hall, tensed and awaited anxiously for what the hat was going to proclaim for the majority of them had learned long ago that when the Sorting Hat gave it's prophecy for the coming year, it was best to listen.

_In times of old, when I was new,_

_And Hogwarts barely started,_

_The founders of our noble school_

_Thought never to be parted_

_Bold Gryffindor, from wild moor_

_Fair Ravenclaw, from glen_

_Sweet Hufflepuff, from valley broad_

_Shrewd Slytherin, from fen_

_United by a common goal,_

_They had the selfsame yearning_

_To make the world's best magic school_

_And pass along their learning_

"_Together we will build and teach"_

_The four good friends decided_

_And never did they dream that they_

_Might someday be divided_

_For were there such friends anywhere_

_As Slytherin and Gryffindor,_

_Unless it was the second pair_

_Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw,_

_So how could it have gone so wrong?_

_How could such friendships fail?_

_Why, I was there, so I can tell_

_The whole sad, sorry tale_

_Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those_

_Whose ancestry's purest"_

_Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose_

_Intelligence is surest."_

_Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those_

_With brave deeds to their name"_

_Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot_

_And treat them all the same."_

_These differences caused little strife_

_When first they came to light_

_For each of the four founders had_

_A house in which they might_

_Take only those they wanted, so, _

_For instance, Slytherin_

_Took only pure-blood wizards_

_Of great cunning just like him_

_And only those of sharpest mind_

_Were taught by Ravenclaw_

_While the bravest and the boldest_

_Went to daring Gryffindor_

_Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest_

_And taught them all she knew,_

_Thus, the houses and their founders_

_Maintained friendships firm and true_

_So Hogwarts worked in harmony_

_For several happy years,_

_But then discord crept among us_

_Feeding on our faults and fears_

_The Houses that, like pillars four_

_Had once held up our school_

_Now turned upon each other and_

_Divided, sought to rule._

_And for a while it seemed the school_

_Must meet an early end_

_What with dueling and with fighting_

_And the clash of friend on friend_

_And at last there came a morning_

_When old Slytherin departed _

_And though the fighting then died out_

_He left us quite downhearted_

_And never since the Founders Four_

_Where whittled down to three_

_Have the Houses been united _

_As they once were meant to be_

_And now the Sorting Hat is here_

_And you all know the score:_

_I sort you into Houses_

_Because that is what I'm for_

_But this year I'll go further,_

_Listen closely to my song:_

_Though condemned I am to split you_

_Still I worry that it's wrong_

_Though I must fulfill my duty_

_And must quarter every year_

_Still I wonder whether sorting_

_May not bring the end I fear_

_Oh, know the perils, read the signs,_

_The warning history shows,_

_For our Hogwarts is in danger_

_From external, deadly foes_

_And we must unite inside her_

_Or we'll crumble from within_

_I have told you, I have warned you…_

_Let the Sorting now begin_

_For in the deadly storm now comes_

_A new, a curious friend_

_A Champion from Underland_

_To fight with us to the end_

_And then the fight shall end again_

_The Founders finally free_

_Their chains of bondage broken then_

_Their hearts free of misery_

As the last word faded from the papery dry voice, those across the four tables looked to others for answers. At the Gryffindor Harry and Neville glanced at Hermione whose brow was wrinkled in thought, while Ron just stared longingly at his plate. Across the hall Draco Malfoy shared a knowing look with Theo Nott and Blaise Zabini, and Daphne Greengrass glanced warily at Pansy. At the Ravenclaw table Roger Davies and Anthony Goldstein peered concernedly down at Luna Lovegood whose usually dreamy eyes were focused and sharp, while at Hufflepuff, Zacharias Smith shared a look with Hannah Abbott who seemed to be paying a good deal of attention to the reactions of the others in her house, sharing a nod with Susan Bones who sat watchful at the head of the table while Ernie MacMillan kept order amongst the younger years at the other end.

The whole atmosphere remained tense among the staff momentarily until Professor McGonagall took a bracing breath to step forward and announce the names of the new class of Hogwarts students.

"Alaric, Patrick,"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Halloway, Samantha,"

"SLYTHERIN!"

Draco Malfoy leaned to his left and murmured in Daphne Greengrass's ear, "I suggest we watch her closely, a hat stall in Slytherin never ends well." Daphne acknowledged her understanding and turned her attention back on the sorting

"McKeighan, Aria,"

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Drackford, Ethan,"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

The list continued with applause from the appropriate table after each name until the list had run out and all the first years had been seated at the tables of their new families. The stool and the hat were retired to the room behind the Head table and the Hall again quieted in anticipation of the greeting the headmaster would see fit to level on them this year.

"To our newcomers," said Dumbledore in a ringing voice, his arms stretched wide and a beaming smile on his lips, "welcome! To our old hands – welcome back! There is a time for speech making but this is not it. Tuck in!"

The plates were suddenly laden with the glorious golden food of Hogwarts and the hall soon dissolved into raucous talking, aided by infamous masticating of one Ronald Weasley, quickly covered up some of the more covert conversations occurring in the student body.

"What do think that was all about?" Neville Longbottom softly queried Hermione, Harry tuned in without letting the grazing animal next to him know that he was no longer listening to him.

"I don't know, but I think we ought to call the Clan together sooner than we originally intended." She responded, flashing a quick look to Draco and Ernie.

Draco nodded minutely to show he had received the message then turned to relay it to Theo who in turn passed it to Roger and Luna. Ernie blinked, shifting his gaze to Susan who caught his eye and his meaning. Her subtle head turn alerted Hannah and Zacharias to the change in schedule whilst Luna smile jauntily at the Slytherin table drawing the attention of Daphne and Blaise but the scorn of Pansy and the others. Daphne glanced to her right and right and Anthony brought the message full circle.

Cycle complete and rest assured that the other members of their Clan were alerted to the new plan; they turned to their meals and were silent with those in other houses for the rest of the meal.

When all the students had finished eating and the noise level in the hall was starting to creep upward again, Dumbledore got to his feet once more. Talking ceased immediately as all turned to face the headmaster.

"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of –term notices," said Dumbledore. "First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students – and a few of our older students ought to know by now too." Here he paused to look meaningfully at the Weasley Twins who didn't look the least bit ashamed.

"Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch's office door.

"We have had two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubby-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

Polite yet stunted applause bounced around the Hall, while the Clan shared looks amongst themselves; the duration of the staff change in Care of Magical Creatures could have a negative impact on their plans.

Dumbledore continued, "Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place on the –"

His sudden stop, an unprecedented event, made ripple though the crowd and the cause was not immediately understood until they noticed he was looking at Professor Umbridge, who was now standing, unfortunately for her it did not make a great deal of difference in her general stature. But it was presently apparent that she intended to make some sort of speech, since she cleared her throat with a high-pitched, "_Hem, hem,_" This speech whatever it contained was wholly ignored by the clan as they were a bit preoccupied glancing at each other with various degrees of alarm plastered to their faces.

After all, an upstart toad from the Ministry had a far greater chance of interfering with their duty. They had been aware that she was coming, thanks to Malfoy the Elder's connections in the Ministry, they had been unaware though of her purpose, and it seemed that it would be far more bothersome than they had originally intended.

It seemed she had finished though, for Dumbledore gave her a bit of slow applause, before turning back to the students to continue where he had left off.

A plan which was promptly derailed again when the doors to the Hall exploded inwards to reveal two men in black robes plain save for the Ministry seal on the left breast roughly dragging a young woman between them toward the head table by way of the center aisle.

She was dressed in a pale blue dress that matched her eyes and complimented her pale complexion and fall of light blonde curls that tangled their way down her back and atop her head perched a top hat that brought the whole ensemble together nicely. She did not stride forward with theses two thugs willingly however, as was made apparent by her avid struggles to free herself from their clasping hands on her arms. She wrenched her arms back and forth and spewed a near constant stream of abuse toward her captors that featured heavily their mothers, and others present at the time of their conceptions.

The professors jumped to their feet in outrage wands out, and were followed by the majority of the student body, including the Clan. The professors rounded the Head Table at a dead run toward the two men and met them at the bottom of the dais it was set on.

"What is the meaning of this?" thundered Dumbledore, the Heads of House hot on his heels, "Who is this woman, and why have you brought her here against her will?"

The taller of the two men looked to Dumbledore wearily and answered, "The Ministry detected her previously unregistered magical signature, determined she had never attended a magical schooling institution, and dispatched us to immediately detain and transport her to the nearest such institution for evaluation because she could present a danger to other citizens. The nearest institution just happened to be Hogwarts. We picked her up outside of St. Helens; she was roaming about around a rabbit hole with this mad man that started yelling gibberish the minute we arrived." At this, the woman kicked up a fresh round of protest.

"What are you two bleeding idiots nattering on about now? I was with my husband on my way to visit my mother's grave, when you popped up like Chess and grabbed me! Oh, March Hare, you will have to turn these two into a soup by the time I'm through with them! And who says I haven't any schooling, I'll have you know I was trained by the best at Court!"

Professor Umbridge saw this as a perfect opportunity to add her two pence, "Wizarding England doesn't have a Court silly girl, it's a good thing the Ministry found you and brought you here; you are clearly in dire need of education! The Ministry of course knows best."

The young woman visibly irritated by this, "I am not talking about Wizarding England, you bloated moron, and neither am I talking to you!" Professor Umbridge seemed mortally offended by this comment and twittered agitatedly to the back of the group.

Professor McGonagall decided then to take hold of the situation, "Release this woman at once and be gone with you, we need reliable answers and they aren't going to come from you."

The two men let go of the woman's arms and bid a hasty retreat to the end of the hall whilst she straightened up and rearranged the folds of her dress.

"Where is my husband? I must be taken to him immediately, he is completely mad and will stop at nothing to find me, and he's liable to already have dropped into his berserk state by now." demanded the young woman glaring at the assembled professors angrily, "He may have already returned to our home to seek reinforcements from Her Majesty."

"Who is your husband, so that efforts might be made to locate him, and who are you dear?" said Professor Sprout kindly.

She lifted her chin and declared proudly,

"His name is Tarrant Hightopp, Laird of Witzend, Mad Hatter to the White Queen of Underland, Her Royal Majesty Mirana of Marmoreal. I am Alice Kingsleigh Hightopp, wife to the Mad Hatter of the White Court, Slayer of the Jabberwocky, Rider of the Bandersnatch, and Champion of the White Queen."


End file.
